


Call Me Trickster

by SarahJaneS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Male Character, Kissing, M/M, Sabriel Big Bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 22:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5844145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SarahJaneS/pseuds/SarahJaneS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where Castiel died at the hands of Lucifer, and Dean gave himself to Michael in the wake of his grief, Gabriel found love in the lost and wandering soul of Sam Winchester. But<br/>A horrible final encounter catapults Gabriel into another time and place where Armageddon never happened and Sam doesn't see him in the same light. Will Gabriel find a way to win this other Sam over? Or will his obligation force him to return to his own world where he has no idea what lies in store for him upon his return</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Me Trickster

**Author's Note:**

> A big big thanks to my artist Friendrain! This work and many others can be found on http://friendrain.deviantart.com/

**  
"Gabriel's First Sunrise"**

********

Prologue 

Gabriel remembered a time when the sky wasn't red. He sometimes liked to close his eyes and make believe he wasn't terrified, and that the world hadn't ended. He would pull closer to the man that he loved and imagine them in a forest somewhere with lush grasses and the sweet scent of the sun. Oh Father, how he missed the sun. He thought about how great it would be for them to watch it rise together; cresting the horizon and painting them in glorious hues of light. 

"You're doing it again," came a hard voice in hushed tones from beside him, and Gabriel reluctantly opened his eyes. 

"Sorry," he whispered, and his heart ached at the view before him. Upon the scorched black earth, large military vehicles encircled a group of earth toned pavilion tents. Above it all the sky blazed red as blood. 

"What did you make believe this time?" The man beside him asked and Gabriel glanced over at his companion. He remembered a time when Sam wasn't so hard or so angry. It seemed just as distant as that forest in his mind. 

"I was thinking about when the sky use to be blue," Gabriel admitted and Sam scoffed. His eyes never stopped surveying the encampment laid out before them at their vantage on the rock ledge, but Gabriel could see a small softness creep into the corners of Sam's lips and he counted it as a victory. 

"Once we kill God, the sky will be blue again, Gabe. Everything will stop burning." They had been hugging the rock ledge with their stomachs for the past three hours while they waited for night to shroud them and a weakness to gain entry found. If Sam saw one, he wasn't sharing but Gabriel was at a loss. Military tactics were never his strong suit and while he has been known to be crafty in the art of strategy, it was usually in fun or to implement a prank. Gabriel missed those days when his brothers and sisters did not spill blood but instead chased him through the halls of heaven yelling about how he should be cast down for whatever foolishness he was successful in orchestrating. Gabriel refused to close his eyes at the lost memory. Sam hated when he reminisced. 

"How will we get in there and make it out alive?" Gabriel whispered. He felt the hush of nightfall creep over them and an eerie stillness in the area left him on edge. 

"We probably won't make it out alive, Gabe. Dean and I need to end this here and now." Gabriel winced at hearing Sam's brother’s name. Dean. How long since he's heard that name? Probably not since the sky stopped being blue. Hearing it now only told Gabriel how sincere Sam's words were. 

"We could go back to camp," He offered in futility and hard eyes turned to peer down at him. Gabriel looked away, suddenly nervous. "Maybe... there are more reinforcements we could pull together. We could plan an assault on a grander scale." 

"Gabriel," Sam's voice was soft but infinite and Gabriel bit at his lip; not meeting the other man's eyes. "Trickster," Sam said, his tone softer still, and Gabriel turned to him surprised. The word had become more of a term of endearment between them over the years but Gabriel hadn't heard Sam say it in so long. 

"Sam," he said softly, his large eyes taking in every crease and mark of the other man's face. Sam shifted, rolling into his side, and his hand sought out Gabriel's face. 

"We have tried grand assaults. We have tried everything. You know this, Trickster. This is the best plan we have because it is the only plan we have left. It has to end tonight." Sam's fingers quickly brushed away Gabriel's tears before the angel even knew we was crying. 

"Sam...I don't want you to die," Gabriel said and his voice trembled with all the unspoken things he wished he could say. 

"I know," Sam said flatly, but then his fingers slid towards Gabriel's neck and he pulled the angel towards him for a kiss. Gabriel sighed against Sam the moment their lips met. This was yet another thing he had not felt in so long. The harder Sam grew, the more he distanced himself from the love he once shared with Gabriel. Everything would be incredible to experience again if it didn't just feel like one long goodbye. 

After a moment of lips and tongues and knowing hands, Sam pulled away and Gabriel struggled to catch his breath. 

"It's time, Gabe. I found a way in. Trust me on this." Gabriel nodded and edged away from the rock ledge to follow Sam's lead. His heart raced at the idea of Sam dying. Gabriel suspected that he would not have the same luxuries for himself with God destroying all the angel blades in existence, but if they failed he was certain to understand the multitude of ways an angel can be tortured. Even such an ending as this did not compare to the grief in his heart at the idea of losing Sam. Failure just was not an option. 

They slipped through the crags of the mountainside and Gabriel silently followed Sam's lead. The lanky man seemed to move like a leopard through the shadows. Watching him always seemed to stir something more primal in Gabriel. It produced a burning sensation in his middle that made him feel like he couldn't breathe. In those moments he would often clamp his mouth shut, unsure of his own voice, and just stare in fascination. Sam used to tease him back when he still had a smile. Sam accused him of being a daydreamer. 

They broke away from the mountain and Gabriel winced as his shoes skidded on loose shale. He would never be the hunter that Sam was, but at least he could protect Sam here which was a hell of a lot better than hiding back at camp. Sam didn't turn to glare at him. He didn't even pause but instead shifted to a low crouch and broke into a run. Gabriel followed behind; trying to ignore the way his stomach burned. 

They hedged around the convoy of large military vehicles and remained deep in the night’s shadows. Gabriel estimated they were about a mile out from the outcropping of the camp, but he was able to pick up the movements of bodies as they patrolled the perimeter; backlit against the fires that raged deeper within. Gabriel suspected these to be lower tiered angels, with the archangels held deeper within, but even still he winced at the thought of detection. 

Even though angel blades have been abolished, God was able to develop a new weapon that allowed angels to shoot barbs out of a sleek metal gun. Those barbs left any angel stunned upon impact; unable to move a single muscle. Gabriel had been shot once, and before Sam pulled the barb from his skin, he learned the true terror of complete helplessness. He never wanted to endure it again. 

Sam slowed ahead of him and Gabriel was able to catch up to the taller man with his long strides. His breath was uneven from the exertion but Sam seemed utterly unscathed. He glanced over his shoulder at Gabriel's approach, and his hands danced through a series of gestures to communicate without words. _We are close. There is a weakness. An opening. Follow close. Remain silent._

Gabriel nodded, and Sam dropped to balance his low crouch with hands on the earth. He moved methodically; soundlessly forward on hands and feet and Gabriel followed behind. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, drowning out all other sound, but he suspected he was just about as quiet as Sam was which made him a bit proud of himself. Sam was the best of all of them in the arts of combat. It was no wonder Lucifer had wanted him. 

Gabriel's mouth twisted at the sudden souring of that heat in his stomach. No. He was not going to think about that right now. He needed to stay here with Sam, in the moment of the hunt, and not let his inferior stealth abilities betray them both. 

They crept closer, edging towards the camp's perimeter, and Gabriel fought to keep his breath steady. There were so many angels. Too many! They were never going to get through this. They were never going to survive this! But he knew Sam wouldn't turn back. He was right, they had tried everything, and Sam was pretty much done with trying. This was a suicide mission, they both knew it, but Gabriel followed him anyway. He would follow Sam until the end of time. The only troubling thought was, now that a new God was living here on earth, one could only imagine what remained of heaven. It was just another thing no one has seen since the sky turned red and Gabriel worried it no longer existed. No, he wasn't going to think about that either. There was no turning back and if Gabriel was able to follow Sam to the end of time, he would find a way to follow him beyond it as well. 

Sam managed to get them as close as the outer perimeter and he pulled up against one of the transporting trucks. Slipping a thin sack off of his back, Sam reached inside and pulled out a small blade no longer than the length of his hand. His eyes met with Gabriel's and the intensity of his gaze spoke volumes. The things they sacrificed to get the shards of angel blade used to forge this dagger could be tallied in bodies and bloodshed. So many had died for such small advances and they deserve it to them all to find a way to plunge this blade into God's chest. Sam's stare said just as much, and he twisted the dagger in his hand to offer the smooth silver hilt to Gabriel. Gabriel's eyes grew wide and he shook his head in protest but Sam gestured the dagger towards him; insistent. 

Slowly, he let his fingers trace the crude mold of the recast hilt and he was surprised to see that his hand wasn't shaking. He closed the hilt into his fist and Sam's hand fell away. Their eyes met once more, and Sam nodded once; approving. Gabriel was too terrified to feel any sort of pride. 

Sam turned and studied the layout of the camp. His hands moved at his side. _Stay close. Flank guard on left. Apprehend. Kill_. Before Gabriel could protest, Sam moved forward. He shifted to the left and hugged the truck as the firelight exposed him to any potential guards that were alert enough to see them. Gabriel's heart raced, and he fought to keep his breath steady. He hugged as close to Sam as he dare without them stumbling over each other, and noticed a few feet ahead, a lone angel was working open a pack of cigarettes. 

Sam didn't look to make sure Gabriel was with him. He never once doubted that the angel would always be there in his time of need. Instead he lunged forward, closing the remaining feet between them and their target, and wrapped an arm around the unsuspecting angel’s throat. Gabriel was behind him instantly and worked the small dagger into the angel's soft gut before dragging the blade towards him; tearing a hole into the vessel and ripping through the angel's grace. 

Sam turned then, twisting the angel so that he lost his footing, and dropped both of them to the ground just as the first beams of light exited the vessels eyes and mouth. The angel screamed wordlessly as he went to some unknown place in the planes of existence, and his body crumbled limp against the dirt. 

Sam released the corpse and rose to his feet. He grabbed the body by his feet and Gabriel quickly lifted the head so that they could drag it around the truck, back into the shadow, and out of the firelight. They dropped the body, panting from the exertion of their burden, and both men turned to stare at each other as they worked to slow their breath. 

Gabriel swooned at the sight of Sam. This brilliant man whom consumed all rational thoughts the angel might have and overrun them with a sort of drunken bliss that kept him staring. Sam. His Sam. Gabriel's eyes welled with the depths of his unyielding love, and Sam turned away from him. He never did feel like he deserved Gabriel's affection. 

He bent down and searched the corpse at their feet. Gabriel reveled in actually having a corpse to search. They had not successfully killed an angel in over a year. It gave him hope which was a fickle cold-hearted mistress. Sam emitted a soft sound of discovery and stood once more to show Gabriel his hands. Clutched in his fist was the smooth silvery shape of a barb gun. 

Gabriel gasped, and then covered his mouth with his unoccupied hand. He would never forgive his traitorous emotions if it led to discovery, but how could he not be surprised? Reaching out, he placed tentative fingertips against the cool barrel of the gun and shivered. The one corner of Sam's mouth curled up. It wasn't a smile, but it was a start. 

Sam jerked his head to the side, indicating they should move along, and Gabriel quickly fell in behind him when he turned to continue deeper. 

Sam ventured into the light once more, but this time his methods were bolder. He didn't hug against the vehicles but instead ventured into the heart of the encampment. Gabriel was about to grab him; to shake him in protest, but suddenly an angel noticed them and turned to raise his gun toward Gabriel. Sam was much faster, with his weapon already in hand, and he shot a barb into the angel; dropping him like a stone. 

Gabriel felt his stomach churn and worried he might sick-up if he saw the look in his fallen brother's eyes. He kept his distance while Sam retrieved a second barb gun. He turned to Gabriel with a look of triumph. They were closer than they had ever been before. 

Sam spiraled through the encampment methodically dispatching every angel he saw. Most of them were interspersed throughout although the occasionally clump of conversing angels did prove to be challenging. They left every angel where they fell knowing that they could not recover unless the barb was found and removed, so it took less time to navigate through the maze of pavilions and vehicles. Gabriel was able to sense the stronger angels; the archangels that resided there, and knew them to be in the central most pavilion where the tent flaps were drawn tight. Somewhere inside there, God resided as well. Still an archangel underneath the title it seemed, which was a relief to discover. "I can sense them, they will know I'm here," Gabriel whispered just above silence and Sam nodded. Gabriel pointed to the closed tent and Sam broke into a run. 

This was the moment they had been planning and plotting over for the past two years. All it took to get there was the simple act of giving up on living. Nothing mattered anymore except to see an end to the destruction the angels wrought. Comparably, the life of one fallen archangel and the man he loved more than life itself were pretty insignificant. 

Sam didn't bother with stealth. Not when their presence was already known. He burst into the tent flaps, guns blazing, and took down two of the angels immediately. One shot at Gabriel, knowing the barb useless on humans, but he was able to dive out of the way before the barb contacted with his flesh. In mere seconds, all the angels were dispensed except for one. Training two pistols on the center of his chest, Sam scowled. 

"Hello Sam," the angel said calmly. He was sitting at the head of a long table where all his companions now laid limp and still. 

"Michael," Sam retorted with a voice as hard as granite. Gabriel found his feet and rose beside him, staring. Why did he hesitate? Why didn't he shoot? 

"I had hoped you would come to me eventually," Michael said, and moved to stand. 

"Don't you dare move from that seat!" Sam snapped and Michael froze in mid-rise. Gabriel bit at his lip to still his tongue but apprehension rolled through him. Sam's hands were shaking. 

"You don't want to do that," Michael said in a low voice of warning, and suddenly Sam's fingers jerked the triggers making two barbs spring forth. Michael was able to dodge the first but the second hit him in the arm and he slumped backwards in his chair. Sam let out a small shakey breath. 

"Sam," Gabriel said urgently and his voice sounded so small. "Sam I have to kill him now, before anyone comes." Sam glanced at Gabriel before returning his eyes to the archangel who proclaimed himself God, and he nodded absently. He tucked his guns into the belt of his jeans and followed Gabriel around the table to where Michael sat. Gabriel lifted the small angel blade and placed it against Michael's throat. His hand was shaking worse than Sam's did and he swallowed hard. 

"Do it, Gabe, please," Sam whispered at his ear, "do it because I can't." 

Green eyes rolled up to lock onto Gabriel and he gasped as a hand flew up to snatch the dagger away from him with the flick of wrist. 

"No!" Gabriel stammered as Michael got to his feet. Sam reached for his pistols, yanking them free, but Michael spun on his wings and in the blink of an eye he was standing behind Sam; one hand yanking back his hair and the other with the blade to his throat. "No!" Gabriel repeated as he stumbled backwards terrified. 

"Little brother," Michael said with a smile as he peered at Gabriel over Sam's shoulder. Sam tried to twist, to gain the advantage, but Michael pressed harder with the blade and blood soon bloomed around the knifes edge. Gabriel whimpered. "Thank you for bringing Sam to me," Michael said to Gabriel with a sort of kindness that left Gabriel feeling unclean inside. "You see, it is challenging to ferret out one lowly human. But this one especially proved to be all the more challenging. It's essential though. As long as Sam lives, his foolish brother refuses to give way and let go of his vessel." 

"Dean?" Sam croaked and winced at the blade to his throat. "Dean are you still in there?" Michael leaned in with a soft smile and brought his lips to Sam's ear. 

"Dean never stops screaming your name," he whispered and Sam's face fell. The look in his eyes shattered Gabriel's heart. 

"Dean you have to fight him! You have to-" 

"Enough of this," Michael said flatly, a scowl marring his face, and he drew the angel dagger across Sam's throat, decorating him in a necklace of his own blood. 

Gabriel couldn't speak. He thought he should scream or cry or shout, and yet nothing came out of his mouth. He simply stood and gaped as the man he loved crumbled to the ground. He stared while Sam strained to lift his head; gasping for air that refused to pass through his ruined throat. Gabriel stared while Sam met his gaze and held it one last time before life slipped out from under him; dropping his head to the floor. 

Gabriel drew in a long breath, almost forgetting that he should be breathing, and noted the darkness closing around his peripheral vision. Let him pass out. Let them kill him as he slept. Let them offer him that small mercy. 

"Gabriel," Michael said gently and Gabriel tore his eyes away from Sam. "I'm really sorry that things had to transpire in this way. But the sacrifice was worth it. My mind is finally at peace with Dean Winchester vacated. I thought I might go insane if I had to listen to him another day!" 

"What... what are you going to do to me?" _Let me die. Please kill me and let me die._

"I know you doubt me as your God. It makes me sad to know you can never grow to love me as many of your brothers and sisters have. But let it be known that I am both forgiving and benevolent." Michael stepped over the pooling blood around Sam's corpse and closed the distance between them. 

"Will you kill me then? End my misery?" _Please let it be quick before the reality of this nightmare sinks home and I realize what has just happened._

Michael smiled and shook his head. "I destroyed all the angel blades remember? Or at least I thought I did," he adds as he glances down at the blood covered dagger in his hand. Sam's blood. Gabriel swallows hard. He's about to lose it. "No more angel deaths. Too many died in Armageddon already." 

"Then what will you do with me?" Gabriel asked, his voice trembling on the verge. 

"You don't belong here, Gabriel. War and death never suited your playful nature. I want you to be happy, understand? I want us all to be happy." 

"I... don't... understand," Gabriel managed as his voice hitched. Tears stung at his eyes. 

"You will soon enough," Michael responded and he pressed a hand against Gabriel's chest. Suddenly white heat surrounded him and Gabriel screamed. He felt like he was being consumed in angel fire; suffocating on the oily smoke of his own demise, then suddenly he was flying; soaring; falling, and white heat transformed into cool forgiving darkness. 

Chapter One 

Castiel peered down at Dean and pressed his lips together in thought. Dean was asleep still, being that the earth time displayed next to him indicated it to be four in the morning, and Dean has always made it expressively clear that he did not like Castiel watching him sleep. However, waking him might illicit an equally negative response considering the time and his current state of undress. Castiel did not want to incite Dean at all and be sucked into a round-about conversation regarding personal space and intrusive behaviors. He had little patience for such things today after what he just sense transpired. 

While Dean disliked Castiel watching him sleep, it was in fact one of Castiel’s most cherished times with his friend. It was so much simpler to engage in human interaction when the humans did not interact. He liked to watch the way dreams played over Dean’s face, and would imagine what each expression meant. Sometimes Dean would laugh in his sleep, or genuinely smile, and those were rare instances were like bursts of fireworks against an infinitely dark sky. Castiel wished Dean would smile like that when he was awake. He deserved so much more than what he was given. 

Dean stirred, shifting to his side in his sleep, and unknowingly turned to face Castiel. Cas studied his face for a moment, pondering his secret dreams, and then looked around the room. He noted the vacant chair facing towards Dean’s bed, and wondered not for the first time if it was placed there for this very purpose. Deciding to let Dean sleep just a little longer, he settled into the chair and waited. As the night crept into morning, Cas watched dreams dance across Deans face and smiled. 

Dean opened his eyes sleepily and glanced down to see Cas sitting in the chair at the foot of his bed, head tilted to the side, staring. Dean sat up with a jerk and quick grabbed his tossed aside blanket to cover his boxer briefs. 

“Is that really necessary?” Castiel asked and Dean mocked sympathy towards the intrusive angel. 

“Really, Cas. The whole bedroom stare-down is a bit creepy,” he grumbled, and rubbed at his eyes. 

“I didn’t want to disturb your sleep. Your dreams seemed…pleasant,” Castiel said in his rusty voice and Dean was grateful the room was dim enough to conceal his blush. 

“Definitely creepy,” he retorted and tossed the blankets off him when he was certain his morning wood had died down. Cas was right, his dreams must have been pretty pleasant. They probably involved strippers. Or pie. 

Dean rolled out of bed and Castiel’s eyes followed him. It used to make his skin crawl the way the angel stared at him all the time, but he has grown used to it he supposed. Dean figured he could get used to anything when forced to endure it long enough. So he gave Cas a good show, strutting around in his boxers, and looked for something to wear. Preferably something in flannel. 

“Dean, I came here to talk about matters more important than the nature of my stare,” Castiel said and while his tone did not alter in the least, Dean was beginning to develop this strange sixth sense about his friend. He sensed that something was definitely wrong enough in the world that Castiel was very put out. He did not like whatever it was that he came to discuss. Dean turned, midway through pulling up his jeans, and studied the angel’s face. 

“If you’re going to talk then talk. I’m listening,” he said and Castiel held his stare for a moment. 

“An angel has fallen,” Castiel said softly and Dean scoffed. 

“Yeah, been there, done that. We saw a whole sky full of angels not too long ago.” 

“This is different, Dean,” Castiel pressed and a hint of urgency threaded into his voice. 

“Okay, explain it to me. How is this different?” 

“Well…”Castiel pursed his lips in thought and his eyes shifted away from Dean’s. Dean took the break from the stare-down as an opportunity to slip his t-shirt over his head. His stomach growled but he pushed thoughts of food away for the time being. Cas was worried and whatever worried him needed Dean’s full attention. “It’s different because angels are not being expelled from heaven. Metatron is thwarted and we can come and go as we please.” 

“Yeah, I get that Cas, but there might have been some other reason for the fall. Anna fell by her own choice long before Armageddon was a twinkle in your daddy’s eye.” 

“Also,” Castiel continued and his eyes shifted back to Deans, “it’s different because the angel did not fall from heaven.” 

“Come again?” Dean asked, blinking in confusion. 

“He fell sideways,” Castiel said simply, but the concern in his eyes spoke volumes. 

“He fell sideways….from where?” Dean asked, confused, but Castiel could only shrug. 

“One moment he was not there and then in the next moment he was. I am sure every angel on this part of the hemisphere felt the powerful hand that pushed him. Some might come and look for him, but you and I have an advantage. We can get to him first.” 

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” Dean asked crossing his arms. 

“He landed close Dean. Very close. Close enough that I can sense his vessel is male and…” Castiel’s head tilted, and his wide eyes went out of focus. “Oh.” 

“What? What Cas? What’s this ‘oh’ business?” Dean said annoyed. Castiel’s eyes went back into focus and he looked up into Dean’s. Dean was going to say something snarky but the story in those large blue eyes stilled his tongue. Castiel looked…scared. 

“We have to go. Now,” he said and Dean nodded slowly. 

“Fuck. Yeah. Ok, I hear you. Let me just get Sam and my shoes and-“ 

“No time!” Castiel snapped and got to his feet. He strode the small space of the room with determination setting his jaw and then gripped a firm hand to Dean’s shoulder. An instant later they took flight; transitioning through time and space in the matter of seconds to move from one place to another. The last thought Dean had when Castiel’s hand closed over him was that he wasn’t going to be able to shit for a week. 

Gabriel was alive. Air flowed in and out of him, the cool earth beneath him seeped damply into his skin, and the sounds of the night flooded into his ears. When had he last heard crickets in this way. He did not want to open his eyes. He did not want to acknowledge this existence. Gabriel was alive, and Sam was dead. 

The reality of his death. The way that it transpired and how foolishly Gabriel responded hit him so hard that his breath left him in a shuddering wail. He squeezed his eyes tighter, pulled his knees to his chest, and laid in a ball weeping. Everything fell out of him. His despair, his longing, his self-loathing, his regret. It fell in rivers of tears and long anthems of wordless despairing groans. He didn’t care how he looked or how he sounded. He didn’t care where he was or if he was in danger. 

Sam was dead. Sam was dead. Sam was dead. 

Gabriel knew nothing but the horrible pain that consumed him radiating from his heart. His hands clawed at his chest wanting to tear the betrayer organ out of his vessel and distantly he realized that he was naked. Another thing that didn’t matter. 

“Over here,” he heard a distant voice say and Gabriel drowned the sound in his despair. He wept all the louder for discovery. Let them come and kill him. Please just let him die. Gabriel, second born archangel in the arsenal of his Holy Father the Lord of Creation, reduced to dust and ash by loving and losing one single human man. He was not blind to the bitter humor of the prank. 

A hand gently rested on his shoulder, and Gabriel blinked open his eyes. He didn’t know how long he had been laying in the dirt crying unabashedly, but at some point night had given way to the starting light of morning. A cool misty fog had settled down around him, awaiting the first rays of sun to burn it away and Gabriel almost wished he could burn away with it. Slowly, he uncurled his arms from around his knees, and wearily lift his head to stare into the eyes of his older brother, Michael. 

“No!” Gabriel shouted and he flailed to get away from the other angel. He twisted against the earth, ignoring the way errant scrub scratched at his bare skin, and kicked his heels to gain purchase. Desperate he dragged himself away, terror painting his every feature. “No! No! No!” 

Michael gaped at him with mouth open and eyes wide; shocked. Gabriel knew something wasn’t right; that something seemed different, but he just couldn’t see past the face. His brothers face. The same face that stared at him while he cut open Sam’s throat. The same face smiling at him while he burned him and cast him into…what? He didn’t know. He didn’t know anything anymore. 

“Dean, stop, get back. You’re scaring him,” came a voice from behind and Gabriel’s terror gave way to confusion. His eyes must be betraying him. Nothing else made sense. 

“C-Castiel?” Gabriel rasped barely above a whisper. He didn’t even realize how dry his mouth had become. Father, but he was thirsty. 

“I’m scaring him?” Michael offered and he looked at Castiel incredulously. “Do you see who that is? Gabriel. Dead Gabriel.” 

“I’m dead, then?” Gabriel tried to say and then coughed from the effort. It made sense. Michael burning him to ash, and Gabriel waking naked in a place of crickets and Castiel standing over him. But where was Sam if this was death? Where was his lover to greet him? 

“Dean, please,” said Castiel with a level scolding tone and he stepped past the other man to move closer to Gabriel. As he walked, he stripped off his trench coat so that when he knelt in front of Gabriel he could sling it over the other angel’s shoulders. Gabriel stared at Castiel in disbelief as his hands reached to cling at the lapels of the stiff coat. He wanted to say _Am I dead? Because I know you are_ , but his voice was lost in the arid coarseness of his throat. 

“Do you remember who you are?” Castiel asked and Gabriel nodded. Castiel’s eyes were wide; staring; disbelieving, and Gabriel suspected he wore a very similar expression on his own face. “Good. That’s good. Do you remember who I am?” Again, Gabriel nodded and his eyes shifted as Michael started to approach them. Gabriel recoiled, that familiar dread rising in his throat, but Castiel turned and held out a hand, compelling the other man back. Of all wonders in the world, Michael obeyed him. Michael _obeyed_ him! Gabriel’s eyes grew wider and he looked at Castiel with a sort of awe. Was Castiel God then? Dead and resurrected to bestow punishment on Michael for the horrible atrocities he performed against all of the Lord’s creations? As the sun finally crested the horizon, realization struck home. 

Gabriel watched as the first rays of light edged through the forest clearing and dance across his exposed skin. A slash of light brushed over his chest and Gabriel pulled open the trench coat to examine the golden light sliding against him. Slowly, his eyes lifted above Castiel, above Michael, above the trees themselves, and absorbed the glorious expanse of a clear blue sky. _Oh, Sam_ , Gabriel thought and his face fell to the despair of his tears once more. 

  


Castiel watched his older brother weep. The angel he always admired the most for his sacrifices toward humanity. The angel who laughed at danger and seemed to trick even death itself into playing a practical joke with him. He seemed to always embrace human nature while Castiel fumbled over it, and here again he embraced human nature by sobbing into the cuffs of Castiel’s trench coat. Castiel didn’t know what to do with this emotion. He didn’t know how he was supposed to react. He turned and looked at Dean for help. 

Dean looked even more uncomfortable than Castiel felt. He stuffed his hands in his pockets; pulled them out again. He glanced at Gabriel, glanced at Castiel, shrugged, and then looked away. Castiel sighed. Dean was a wonderful asset in combat, and even in the most vulnerable moments that Castiel faced emotionally Dean was able to pull through for him with some reluctance, but this was far beyond any type of vulnerability Cas had ever faced. Gabriel was broken, and what was worse was that he had fallen. 

“Let’s get him back to the bunker,” Castiel said and he got to his feet. 

“Sure…yeah, no problem,” Dean said with what Castiel was starting to understand as sarcasm. 

“Dean, I know it is not my place, but it would mean a great deal to me if Gabriel could stay with you until we figure out what is going on.” Asking seemed to work better where telling did not and Dean shrugged acquiescence. Castiel leaned over and pulled Gabriel into his arms. He walked to Dean and held out his hand for Dean to take. The hunter slipped his fingers into Cas’s palm, and his eyes met with the angel’s with something unreadable hidden inside them. Castiel spread wings unseen, and flew them back to the bunker entrance. 

When they got inside, Dean explained that he needed to fill in his brother on what was going on, and Castiel said he would find a room for the still weeping Gabriel to rest in. He went back the familiar corridor that led to Dean’s room and was able to easily locate a different vacant room adjacent to the hunters. Castiel used a scrap of grace to clear the dust from within and laid Gabriel on the bed. His brother reached for him, still clutching at his jacket, and pulled him close. Castiel watched as Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but instead wheezed soundlessly against chapped lips. No words came in spite of his efforts. 

“You have fallen,” Castiel said simply. “You need water. Let me get you a drink. I will return in a few minutes.” Gabriel still stared at him, eyes wide and tears spilling freely down his face, but his hand fell away from Castiel’s jacket, and the younger angel stood. He exited the room, leaving Gabriel still sitting in the bed draped in his trench coat, and went to find him something to drink and to wear. 

  


“Gabriel?” Sam asked in disbelief. His brow furrowed as he tried to wrap his head around all of it. Gabriel was dead. They saw him die. But on the other hand, Gabriel has died more than once in their presence and seemed to always have a way of popping back into their lives. 

“Yeah, you ain’t kidding. I’m about as fucking mind-blown as you are right now,” Dean said and he plopped down on a chair next to his brother. Sam had woken up that morning to find that Dean was gone and decided to enjoy the solitude in the Men of Letters library. He had assumed his brother was out for a pie run or some other nonsense but he never expected all of this. Gabriel alive, naked, and sobbing at the sky. Sam kind of wanted to see it just so he could say he had because hearing it second hand made it a little hard for him to wrap his head around. 

“So Castiel brought him back here? It makes sense. We can keep an eye on him and see if this is all some sort of prank he’s pulling.” 

“Well I’m not crazy about babysitting some weepy angel, but I get your point. Gabriel has not always been the most helpful to us and he always seems to have some sort of hidden agenda.” Sam closed the book he was looking at and returned it to the shelf before turning his attention to the small section of books that illustrated the Men of Letter’s knowledge on angels.  
“Tell me again about what Castiel had said of his falling,” Sam said over his shoulder, and he heard the familiar pop of Dean opening a bottle of beer. It was awfully early to be drinking, but Sam suspected for some time that Castiel was healing Dean’s liver along with the rest of him so he let his brother go. 

“He said that he sensed an angel falling and that he fell sideways. Oh! And that there was a powerful hand that pushed him.” Dean drew a long pull from his bottle of beer and gulped it down in one go. 

“Fell sideways,” Sam repeated as his fingers trailed over the different hand written tomes on the bookshelf. He felt that this was the key to unraveling some great mystery and his mind hungered to understand it. While Dean loved to hunt and took pleasure in tactical planning, Sam always found pleasure in the research aspect of what they do. He loved seeing the puzzle and then systematically putting the pieces together to discover the hidden secrets behind them. It was that ‘aha’ moment that he was addicted to. Resting his fingers against a particular book, he thought it was as good a place to start as any and pulled it off of the shelf. Starting was the hardest part, but it also provided the most opportunity. So many options have to be ruled out before leading to the discovery. This was the heart of why Sam had wanted to become a lawyer. “Dean…I’m going to be in here a while. Could you bring me breakfast when you make it?” 

“Sure thing,” Dean said springing to his feet. “So, you don’t want to come see the side show exhibit?” Sam wrinkled his nose, finding his brothers humor sometimes distasteful. 

“A little later, once he has calmed down a bit. If he was that terrified of you, I can only imagine what he will do when he sees me.” 

Chapter Two 

“Thank you,” Gabriel said in a sigh after he drained the third glass of ice water. He didn’t remember ever being so thirsty before. He did partake in the human’s alcoholic beverages on occasion, but not out of need certainly. This was all very new to him. Castiel offered him a small smile and then lifted a pile of clothing, offering it to Gabriel. 

“The only person who lived here that was close to your size was Kevin and his mother took his clothes with him. I fortunately found some suitable attire amongst the Men of Letters wardrobes. I hope they suit you.” Gabriel wrinkled his nose at the clothing and then looked up at Castiel. 

“I appreciate the offer but couldn’t I just use my grace to manifest clothing?” Gabriel asked as he picked hesitantly at the coarse fibers of the black jacket Castiel offered him. Castiel studied him for a moment and then placed the clothing on the bed between them. 

“Gabriel…you have fallen,” Cas stated bluntly and his eyes explored the reaction on Gabriel’s face. Gabriel blinked, tilting his head in confusion. What was Castiel talking about? He hasn’t fallen, he’s dead. He was with Sam. He was with Michael. He was trying to stop the reign of the new God of Armageddon, and then Michael touched him; burned him and… 

“I have…fallen?” Gabriel could remember drifting through space and time. Slipping sideways through a membrane of matter and into a place alien and unknown. He remembered… “I am…not dead?” 

“What? No!” Castiel said, sounding abashed. 

“I am…no longer an angel, then?” Gabriel offered instead. 

“I suspect that your grace fell with you,” Castiel said, suddenly nervous. He picked up the clothing, piece by piece, and spread it across the vacant space of the bed they shared. “If we are able to recover it, perhaps we could find a way to restore you to your previous angelic state.” 

“Then I will be able to return?” Gabriel asked and Castiel met his eyes. 

“To heaven? Yes, of course,” Castiel said with one of his small smiles. Gabriel closed his eyes. Heaven. Did it still exist? In this strange place where Castiel still lived and Michael was subservient to him? Did heaven return with the dawning of a blue sky? 

“No, not heaven,” Gabriel said softly to both Castiel and to himself. This place, wherever it may be, was not where he belonged. He needed to return to Sam. He needed to bury him; to mourn him further. “I need to return to hell.” 

Castiel looked at Gabriel for a long time, trying to read past the words and understand the root of what he was saying. It would have been nice if they had the chance to have this time together before Castiel’s death. He would have liked to think that the two of them could have been close. Perhaps Castiel had this same hope within him as well. Perhaps he thought that this could be a chance for friendship and understanding between them. Two angels that dared to love humanity and seek out the alliances of two wayward sons. Castiel’s lips parted, beginning the words that might seal them together or cast them apart. Gabriel held his breath, waiting for the other angel to speak; to offer him to stay, to tell him to go…but before the words escaped him, the bedroom door opened and Michael walked in. 

Gabriel gasped and pulled Castiel’s trench coat around him. His traitorous eyes no longer showed him the angelic glow around either of the two other men in the room, but he knew the truth of it. He knew Michael’s face as though it was his own. That devil’s grin bored into his bones and sucked away his marrow. Gabriel bared his teeth in a sneer. 

“Castiel, send him away. Command him,” Gabriel seethed and the pride he felt for his younger brother’s power over this creature made his lips curve in a triumphant grin. Castiel frowned at him and then glanced over his shoulder at the other angel. 

“I don’t understand,” he said shaking his head, “what do you have against Dean?” 

“Dean?” Gabriel scoffed and then glowered at Castiel. Was Castiel making fun of him? They always say that you can’t trick a trickster and Gabriel was quick to point out a joke, but what type of advantage would Castiel gain from such a jest? Castiel never had a very good sense of humor anyway. Looking at his younger brother, he could think of nothing to say but what was in the forefront of his mind. “Are you joking?” Castiel’s eyes danced around the room, nervous and confused, and Michael entered the room fully, closing the door behind him. 

“Get him away from me!” Gabriel shouted and he stumbled out of the bed to back against the corner of the room. He didn’t want to see Michael grin again the way he had when he stepped over Sam’s corpse and reached for Gabriel. Father, if he saw Michael grin he would…Gabriel closed his eyes. He sunk to the floor and covered his ears. The truth of it was he would do nothing because he didn’t have the power to smite or to kill or to flee. He lost his grace. He was nothing more than a human just like Sam used to be. Sam. 

“Dean please, this is not a good time,” he could hear Castiel say. 

“What the hell is going on with him? What the hell did I do?” Gabriel gnashed his teeth at the words. His fear was consumed by a flame of rage that burned through his stomach and sent heat up to his face. Color blossomed there as he lifted his head and glared at the other angel. Let him die. He welcomed the embrace of nothingness over the constant unwavering ache of his vacant heart. But no, he was not going to cower below this angel anymore. Michael would not see him groveling. Gabriel glared at the sandy haired man and used the wall to help him gain his footing. 

“What the hell did you do?” Gabriel asked, and bit the words off in his teeth. His hands shook from the emotion he was feeling. Without his grace dulling his senses, the hard raw cut of his pain and anger sliced into him with razors edge. “What did you do?” he repeated in a shout. 

Michael put his hands up defensively and took a step away. “Whoa, whoa, Gabe. Calm down.” The shortened version of his name that Sam always used turned Gabriel’s rage into an inferno. He sprung forward, charging towards Michael. 

“You destroyed the world, brother! You devoured countless souls in your machines of war and ate away at everything that was pure and good in this place. You turned the sky to blood and the earth the ash and everything in between was lost to your inferno. Everything that was held dear. Everything that I loved!” He reached Michael and his hands closed around the cloth of the man’s over-shirt. Gabriel leaned in close as Michael tried to pull away and pressed his forehead hard against the other man’s. “You killed the only man that meant something to me just so you could stop hearing a voice in your head.” Castiel was between them in an instant, pulling Gabriel away from a gawking Michael and glaring at him. Castiel suddenly looked protective and threatened by Gabriel in a way that seemed almost nostalgic to how they used to be together. 

“I don’t know what is going on here,” Castiel said in a low dangerous voice, “but you will stop talking to Dean in this way.” 

“Dean?” Gabriel spat, at then forced a laugh. He grabbed at the coat on his shoulders and flung it at Castiel. Let them strip his dignity along with everything else he has lost. It was of little consequence. “Dean is nothing more than a vessel, Castiel. Michael made sure of that.” Castiel tilted his head and studied Gabriel as though he had just sprouted green antlers. 

“What are you talking about, Gabriel?” he asked and his brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Gabe, look, it’s me. Dean. Michaels long gone from this world. He’s locked away downstairs with Lucifer and-“ 

“STOP!” Gabriel shouted and help up his hand. He stared at the man he knew for years as Michael. “Stop calling me that name. You have not earned the right to be so informal with me.” Michael shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable, and looked away. 

“Why do you think that he is Michael?” Castiel probed and Gabriel directed his glare back to his little brother. 

“Because Dean said yes,” he said in cut off tones. How daft was his brother to not know this? 

“When did he say yes?” Castiel asked and Gabriel threw up his hands. 

“Everyone under the sun knows this! He said yes and a moment later the sky turned red. He said yes and in an instant the world fell apart. How can you not know this?” 

“Yes but…when. In the timeline of events, at what point do you recall Dean saying yes?” 

“He said yes the moment after…” Gabriel blinked. He turned away from Castiel and looked at the ground between them. 

“Tell me,” Castiel pressed and Gabriel lifted his gaze to his brother once more. 

“I…think I may have some things confused. I…don’t understand what is going on anymore.” 

“Please Gabriel, tell me what you remember. When did Dean say yes to Michael?” Gabriel bent and picked up Castiel’s trench coat and wrapped it around his shoulders once more. He felt very small and vulnerable. 

“There was a hotel that was made specifically as a trap. Dean and…Sam were there and you went to rescue them from the ancient gods of the world. But Lucifer came and he ran a blade through your heart. Dean said yes to Michael that very night to seek revenge against Lucifer for killing you.” Gabriel’s eyes lifted. To where Michael still stood at the doorway. If Castiel was not dead, could he be…? Could he really be Dean? 

“I forgive your decision,” Gabriel said to Dean and as soon as the words left his mouth he knew them to be true. “I was angry with you for so long because of what you destroyed. Your decision tore the world apart but…I understand why you did it.” He looked at Castiel then, and a sad smile brushed across his face. “I would have done the same thing for the man that I loved.” 

“Uh…” Dean began. 

“Thank you,” Castiel said with a smile, and opened his arms to welcome Gabriel in a hug. Gabriel fell in to him, not understanding what was going on but only knowing that everything he knew was turned upside down and the things he thought were cold hard facts no longer applied. Castiel’s hug was comforting but too soon he pulled away and Gabriel was reminiscent of embraces from his past that meant more than this. 

“I miss him,” he whispered and his heart hurt all over again. He felt exhausted. The weight of the world suddenly pressed against him and he slumped onto the bed. 

“What?” Castiel asked at the same time that Dean asked “Who?” Suddenly a sharp knock sounded outside the door and the three men turned to look at the entryway. 

“Dean? Are you in there?” came a familiar voice and Gabriel gasped. He was to his feet in an instant, scrambling to find the clothing that Castiel had offered him. He hadn’t even thought of the possibility, but why had he not? Castiel alive, Dean no longer consumed by Michael, and now this…. _him_ … 

“Dean?” came the voice again and Gabriel could feel his breath getting shallow. What was happening to him? He couldn’t breathe! He couldn’t think straight! His eyes glazed over. 

“Yeah, Sammy, give me a minute,” were the last words that Gabriel heard before the room around him closed in darkness and he collapsed against the bed. 

  


“Cas…what the hell just happened?” Dean asked as he turned to let Sam in. 

“I am unsure,” Castiel said with a puzzled expression. He leaned over and pulled his coat over Gabriel’s naked body allowing him some vanity. “But it appears that he has fainted.” 

“Because of Sam? Did you see how he reacted when he heard Sammy’s voice?” Dean looked at his brother who edged into the doorway and took in the scene. Gabriel went into full out panic mode the moment he heard Sam talking. What the hell did that mean? If Dean was Michael in his brain, what was Sam? Lucifer? Probably. Dean didn’t like the place that Gabriel described. He especially didn’t like the idea that he was the cause behind all of it. 

“What’s going on?” Sam asked, taking in the scene. His eyes fell on Gabriel and he stared at the angel for a moment. “Huh.” He said, pondering. 

“What?” Dean asked and Sam shrugged awkwardly. 

“Nothing it’s just…he looks tired. Sad. Different than the guy that always caused us a boat load of misery, you know?”  
“Yeah, don’t I know it,” Dean said with a chuckle and then he glanced at Castiel. He supposed he could imagine how things would have progressed if it was Castiel that had saved them that night instead of Gabriel. It made his heart hurt to think of Castiel in that way. Dead by the hands of that bastard Lucifer and for no other reason but because he dared to stand in the angel’s way. Dean didn’t give much credit to anything outside of his brother at the time. He was afraid of making allies and letting people in but things were different now. He was different now and Castiel was every bit a part of his life the way Sam was. Not knowing all that Gabriel told him now, he would have definitely said yes to Michael if that had happened years ago. 

“Why don’t you two give us some time,” offered Castiel. “You haven’t eaten yet. Let me help Gabriel to get dressed and calm him down a bit more. We can meet you in the common area then.” Castiel leaned over and tugged at the trench coat again, reinforcing that it had all Gabriel’s bits and pieces concealed. Not like he wasn’t flapping them around for the world to see just ten minutes earlier but whatever floated Cas’s boat was fine by Dean. 

“That sounds like a good idea. Dean, I came across something I thought we could talk about,” Sam said excitedly. Dean glanced down and noticed Sam was clutching a book in his hand titled Astral Projections and Alternate Realities. Lovely. 

“Fine, fine. Cas, I’ll see you in a few,” said Dean with a wave and Castiel waved back at him but his attention was fully on his brother. Dean left the room with the door closing softly behind him. “Alright, Sammy, lets fry up some eggs and get down to business. I want to hear all about what you found out.” 

  


Castiel retrieved a washcloth from the shower room and a small basin of warm water. He used his wings to travel to the nearest department store and he picked out a pair of loose jeans and a t-shirt that appeared appropriate to Gabriel’s size. He also retrieved some shoes and undergarments which he placed on Jimmy Novak’s credit card, and returned a few moments later to Gabriel’s room. 

Castiel did not know much about the inner workings of a human mind, but he understood an angel’s. He also understood how raw and exposed emotional nerves felt in a human body, and how terrified these sensations could be until they were better understood. Gabriel was from a different time and place, that much was apparent, and for whatever reason he landed in the Winchester’s back yard. This could be a coincidence, and Castiel thought as much, until he saw the way Gabriel reacted to Sam’s voice. Now Castiel knew that Gabriel was placed there with a purpose, he just didn’t know what it was yet. 

Gabriel was still unconscious when Castiel returned, and he reached for the washcloth to wring it in the basin. Gently, he wiped at Gabriel’s face and quickly realized how grimy the angel was. It must have been all the rolling in the dirt he did, trying to get away from Dean. 

_I would have done the same thing for the man that I loved._ Castiel paused and looked at the washcloth in his hand. 

“It was another time. Another place. You’re not of this world and neither is the Dean that you knew,” Castiel assured Gabriel, or perhaps himself. Whatever the case, he resumed his cleaning and eventually, Gabriel returned to him. 

Chapter Three 

Gabriel watched the blood pour from the gaping wound in Sam’s throat. He wanted to scream but the air stuck in his lungs like glue. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening. He still felt the warmth in his stomach from the kiss they had shared and yet here he was watching Sam fall to the ground before him. Dying. Always dying. In the distance he heard a knock on a door. Dean? Are you in there? 

Gabriel jerked awake with a gasp and stared at a startled Castiel. What had just happened? His mind flashed images behind his closed eyes and he had no control over it. 

“What…what was that?” Gabriel gasped half in terror half in awe. 

“I can only guess that you were dreaming,” Castiel offered and he ran a washcloth across Gabriel’s brow. “It is an unexplained phenomenon that humans experience when they sleep. I watch Dean when he dreams sometimes.” 

“It is unsettling,” Gabriel said with a shiver. “How do they stand it? I remember the way Sam used to…” Gabriel clamped his mouth shut. He glanced sheepishly at his brother and then dropped his gaze to his hands. 

“Sometimes,” Castiel mused as he washed dirt away from Gabriel’s arm, “Dean and Sam can tell things about each other just by sharing a look. They can read each other’s thoughts in a very astral way that I never could really understand. They kept secrets through this unspoken communication, and I often got jealous that I didn’t share that same bond with them.” Castiel dunked the washcloth into a basin of murky water and then returned to his task on Gabriel’s other arm. “I feel like I understand them now,” he said in a soft voice and he lifted his eyes to glance at Gabriel through thick lashes. “I feel like perhaps we share that bond as well.” 

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked just as softly. He felt vulnerable and exposed which had little to do with his state of half undress. He thought about how much he wanted Castiel to be a friend to him. Someone he could confide in about everything he was trying to puzzle through. 

“I saw the way your eyes lit up when you heard Sam’s voice,” Castiel admitted and his eyes dropped back to concentrating on his task. “It is the same look I get when I hear or see Dean. I didn’t understand it before seeing you today, but I understand it now. You are in love with Sam, are you not? Just as I now know I’m in love with Dean.” Gabriel felt heat rush into his face and he pulled his arm out of Castiel’s hands. 

“The Sam I know is dead,” Gabriel muttered and he tried to ignore the sympathy that painted Castiel’s face. 

“I know it is not the same, I am sorry brother. I can’t imagine how it must feel to love one Sam but respond in kind to another. But we can keep secrets too, can we not? This is not something either of them need to know.” Gabriel glanced up and his eyes met with Castiels. He offered a weak smile. It seemed like Castiel was offering his own form of friendship and while it was not exactly what Gabriel was looking for, it was a great start. 

“The time I spent with you before…before you died, was all focused on how to help the Winchesters.” Gabriel mused as he held out his arm again and Castiel brought his washcloth against the skin once more. “We never really took time for each other. I would like very much if we could be brothers the way those two are. I often regretted not telling you that before now.” 

Castiel beamed at this, and Gabriel couldn’t help but return the smile. He could only hope the sincerity was mutual between them. He had spent too much of his life isolating himself from the world that he never really made any friends. It was circumstance and loneliness that drove Sam and him together, but he wasn’t so sure the same would occur in a less desolate existence. Nevertheless, maybe this was an opportunity for him to have a fresh start at forming bonds with those around him that he overlooked so often in the past until they were dead and gone. This thought made Gabriel frown. Was this Michaels will? For him to abandon the world that he knew and Sam along with it? What good would it do for Gabriel to remain here while Sam was tortured to pieces in hell? Or worse in heaven. 

“I bought you something,” Castiel said as he finished washing Gabriel’s arms. He seemed delighted with himself as he turned and lifted a set of bags off of the floor. “You didn’t seem too interested in the clothing I found here so…well I thought perhaps these would suit. At least until we find your grace. I just thought casual human attire might be appropriate for you.” Gabriel peaked in the bag and then smiled at his brother. 

“Thank you, Castiel,” he said, touched. Crawling out of bed, he slipped Castiel’s trench coat off of his shoulders and reached into the bag for his new clothes. 

  


Sam reviewed the illustration with Dean again but he felt like his brother just refused to get it. Between them rested the book that Sam had found which was a bit of a miracle considering it wasn’t anywhere near the angel tomes he was reviewing. But the falling sideways as Castiel described it had him convinced that heaven wasn’t really involved. Besides, as far as they knew, Gabriel was very much dead so it was no wonder that the being standing before them was from a different place and time. A much darker world from the sound of what he described already to Dean. It made Sam sad to think of anyone living in a place like that. Even someone as troublesome as Gabriel has been to them in the past. 

As though his thoughts summoned the angel, Sam looked up to see Gabriel trail into the large sitting room behind Castiel. Castiel smiled in greeting and approached the table to sit, but Gabriel hung at the doorway. Oddly, he kept looking at Sam. He tried not to make it obvious, letting his eyes scan the room; not really looking at anything at all, but more often than not, they would find Sam and their eyes would meet across the distant space. 

“Hey there, Gabe, I was just explaining to Dean what I think happened to bring you here. Care to join us?” Gabriel bit his lip and stuffed hands into jean pockets. Sam realized then Gabriel was wearing a pair of lose fitting jeans and a Grateful Dead t-shirt which definitely was not his usual attire. He thought it looked endearing. 

“Actually, you better use Gabriel,” Dean said around a mouthful of eggs and toast he had whipped up for himself. “He hates being called Gabe.” 

“No,” Gabriel said and finding his voice seemed to put the rest of him in motion. He walked towards the table, and reached for a chair opposite Sam. “No, he can call me Gabe. Just you can’t, Dean.” Sam laughed at this and grinned at Dean who for once seemed at a genuine loss for words. Sam kind of liked this new Gabe. His eyes danced back to the fallen angel and he realized that Gabe was staring at him again. His eyes wide and…was he crying? 

“Gabe?” Sam asked, concern lacing the word and Gabriel quickly scrubbed at his face with the palms of his hands. 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and his voice sounded unsteady. “I’m sorry, Sam, it’s just…it’s been a long time since I heard you laugh.” Sam leaned into the table and closer to Gabe. He was intrigued. 

“So you were friends with the Sam of your reality?” Sam asked and Gabriel’s eyes met his showing the depth of his confusion. 

“My…reality?” Gabe asked, testing out the words. 

“Cas, Sam already explained this to me twice but I am kind of getting dizzy over the whole thing,” Dean said and Cas glanced over the table at the book Sam had laid out between them. 

“It’s just as I suspected,” Cas said, “but well done Sam for coming to the same conclusion so quickly. This Gabriel is from a parallel reality. One where I died at the hands of Lucifer instead of him, and all that transpired was because of that. I couldn’t quite fathom how he ended up here, but this wormhole diagram does make sense. I just can’t comprehend the amount of force needed to propel a being, let alone an archangel, into another plane of existence.” 

“Yes,” Gabriel said in a timid voice and all eyes fell on him. 

“What was that?” Dean asked, but when Gabriel lifted his head, he looked right at Sam. 

“Yes…we were friends in my reality,” he said, his voice somewhat stronger, but his eyes still swam with the start of unshed tears. 

“Oh…I see,” Sam said and he pursed his lips in thought. “Well then…maybe we can be friends here as well, okay?” Gabriel stood abruptly and looked down his nose at Sam. His lips were drawn into a deep frown and unspoken emotions creased his forehead. 

“I don’t think that is wise,” Gabriel said, his voice suddenly cold, and then he turned and left the room. Sam watched him go, about as puzzled as when he first entered. This was definitely not the Gabriel he remembered. 

“Give him time,” Castiel said softly and when Sam glanced at him, he smiled encouragement. Sam didn’t quite understand what that was about. What difference did it make to him as to whether or not Gabriel wanted to be his friend? And yet…he couldn’t really explain why he felt so lonely all of a sudden. Why did he wish Gabriel would just come back into the room? 

  


Gabriel retreated back into the room that Castiel had given him and fell face first onto the bed. This was hard. Seeing Sam and talking to him and hearing him laugh just stabbed at Gabriel’s heart again and again. Part of him wanted to pull Sam into an embrace and loose himself in a long series of kisses, while the other part of him hated the man for not being _his_ Sam who was slowly rotting on the floor of Michael’s tent. Or perhaps Michael had disposed of him by now. If time passed in Gabriel’s place of existence at the same pace as it did where he was now, then his time to burn and mourn his lover was long past. He would never be able to tell Sam all the things he wished he had said the moment Sam kissed him on that rock ledge. It seemed as though Gabriel’s whole life has been paved with regret. 

A knock at the door caused Gabriel to jump and he sat up with mild annoyance. Does no one give anyone else a moment’s peace around here? Then he thought that perhaps it was Sam coming to talk to him and the idea both irritated him and filled him with elation. He just didn’t know how to process these feelings. This Sam was not his Sam and yet… 

“The door is unlocked,” he responded to the knock and the knob turned; opening the door inward. 

“Hey, Gabriel,” came Dean’s voice as he stepped into the room. Gabriel rolled his eyes, annoyed with his decision, and turned away from the older brother. 

“Why are you here?” Gabriel snapped, refusing to meet the other man’s eyes. It hurt him that it wasn’t Sam at the door which he hated himself for. Things would never be the same here. Already he could tell that this Sam was worlds apart from the Sam that clung to him desperately when Castiel died and Dean turned into a monster. This Sam would never feel the same way for him as his other Sam had. 

Dean walked into the room and placed a tray next to the bed before sitting down beside Gabriel. 

“You have to keep in mind that you’re human now. Or at least you are until we can figure out what happened to your grace. So you are going to have to eat. I made you some eggs.” Gabriel glanced at the plate of food on the tray and then turned to look at Dean. Their eyes met and Gabriel stared into those same bright green of eyes that used to haunt Sam’s nightmares. He remembered Sam muttering and twisting; crying out in hot sweaty nights; screaming about those infinite green eyes. Slowly, Gabriel brought a hand up to Dean’s face. He rested fingertips against Dean’s jaw and pushed gently at the skin there. Yes, he was definitely real. 

“Gabriel? What are you doing?” Dean asked but he didn’t pull away. Gabriel pulled his fingers into a fist and let his thumb stick up firmly. Lowering his hand, he brought his thumb to rest against Dean’s neck, and then he drew a line across his taught skin there as though his thumb were a blade. 

“It would have been so easy,” Gabriel whispered, his eyes staring at the place where blood could have spilled from in another world; in another life. “And Sam would still be alive.” 

“Ga…Gabriel, Sam is alive,” Dean said nervously, and Gabriel lifted his eyes to the older brother’s. His hand fell away. 

“Thank you for the food, Dean. I realize now that I am actually quite hungry.” Dean smiled nervously, relieved to be back on neutral ground, and stood to leave. 

“Just let me know if there is anything else you need. We’ll help you get through this.” He turned to go and Gabriel called after him. 

“Will Castiel be sleeping here as well? He did not mention having a room.” Dean paused at the doorway and glanced over his shoulder at Gabriel. 

“If you need him to stay, and if he wants to stay, he can stay,” was all he said and then he slipped out of the room. Gabriel smiled. Well at least that much was the same between worlds. Dean desperately in love with Castiel and clueless as to what to do about it. Those two will circle each other until deaths door. Gabriel’s smile vanished at the thought. With Michael sealed in hell, would the destruction at the wake of one of their deaths be better or far worse? Sam would be lost in the middle of it. If the Gabriel of this reality was dead, then who would protect him? 

  


Sam raised his fist to wrap knuckles on the closed bedroom door, but then paused. It had been almost a week since Gabriel appeared. Almost a week since Sam last saw him, and in that time the angel has spent every day in his room. Castiel has taken up residence in the room across the hallway and would spend long hours alone with the ex-angel. Castiel and Dean would also bring him food, or lead him to the bathroom, but never Sam. Gabriel made it clear to him that he had no interest in them being friends, so Sam spent most of his time trying to research the night that Gabriel fell instead in hopes of getting a lead on where his grace was at. So far, he has come up with zilch in that area. 

He tried not to think about Gabriel too much during that time. Occasionally he contemplated going to the angel’s room and demanding an explanation as to why he insisted upon avoiding Sam, but then he thought better of it. Who knows what the Sam of his dimension did to him to cause him to feel such resentment, and while he was not responsible for Gabriel’s dislike, he shouldn’t fault him for it either. 

He did not even think that morning that today would be the day he would have to knock on the angel’s door, but then Dean announced he was making a supply run with Cas and that Sam should stay behind to continue his research. Hours had passed since then. Many hours. Sam had already had lunch and was working on a simple salad for dinner when he thought about how hungry Gabriel must be. He considered waiting the ex-angel out and seeing if he would finally ferret him out of hiding, but he didn’t like the idea of Gabriel hungry and miserable laying alone in his bed. It was then he decided to make his salad for two and brought the second bowl to Gabriel’s door. Yet he hesitates. 

His mind has been doing funny things since Gabriel came back into the picture. The more he tried not to think about Gabe, the worse it got. At the most inconvenient times, like when he was trying to focus on a particular part of complex Latin, or when he was taking a shower, his mind would flash images of Gabriel’s wide innocent looking eyes into his head and he would be left wondering where the hell that just came from. It seemed like this entire week he could almost feel Gabriel’s presence pushing on his shoulders, and the more Gabriel avoided him, the more he was wary of seeing Gabriel as well. It was getting beyond ridiculous. There was nothing going on between them so there was no sense in Sam fabricating this tension out of thin air. Restoring his resolve, Sam reached up again and knocked on Gabriel’s door. 

“The door is unlocked,” came a voice from inside and Sam swallowed against the butterflies in his stomach. The tray shifted in his hand; salad bowl rattling against glass of water, and Sam took a deep breath before opening the door and stepping inside. 

Gabriel was sitting on his bed, dressed in a worn blue t-shirt that said “Hot Potato” across the chest, and faded denim jeans. He glanced up as Sam walked into the room, and his eyes widened at the recognition. His lips parted, ever so slightly, but he remained silent to Sam’s approach. Which did nothing but make Sam more nervous. 

“I…brought you dinner,” Sam said, avoiding Gabe’s stare. He walked across the room and set the tray on the end table next to the bed. The sooner he got this over with the sooner he could get the hell out of there and back to the security of his library. This whole encounter was far too awkward. 

“Thank you,” Gabe said softly and his voice carried a weight with it that wasn’t there before. Sam spared him a quick glance and noticed Gabe was still staring at him with those big brown eyes of his. Well that was going to pop into his mind at inopportune times for the next month. Sam turned to go. “Wait! Um…” Sam froze at Gabe’s words but didn’t turn to face him again. The air was pregnant from words unspoken in the silence between them and Sam thought about his options. He could just keep walking; storm out of the room and never come back again or…he could tell the truth. 

“Why don’t you want to be my friend?” Sam asked towards the door. He kept his back to Gabriel but he could hear the slight inhale of breath at his question. 

“I…” Gabriel’s voice broke and Sam could feel something flutter deep in his gut. “I am sorry I said that, Sam. I…I didn’t mean it.” Sam turned then and looked at Gabe once more. Their eyes met and that flutter in his gut seemed to rise and bloom across his chest. It was funny, but every time he looked at Gabriel it seemed to make his stomach burn. 

“So…can we try this again?” Sam asked and held out his hand. “Hello, I’m Sam Winchester. Nice to meet you.” Gabriel laughed at this and Sam smiled in return. With the sound of the other man’s laughter, the tension dissolved out of the room and Sam turned to sit next to him on the bed. Gabriel grabbed the salad and speared at it with conviction. Slipping a fork full between his teeth, he rolled his eyes in pleasure. 

“You always make the best food, Sam. But it tastes so much better as a human,” Gabriel said around the mix of dried fruit and greens, and Sam smiled while he watched the ex-angel eat. 

“What was I like, Gabriel? In the dimension that you are from,” Sam asked and Gabriel’s chewing slowed as his eyes went out of focus. 

“You were…sad. Always so sad. Because of Dean and his deal with Michael. It changed you.” Sam thought about this for a minute. He remembered how he felt when Dean went to purgatory. His brother was hurt that Sam never tried to look for him but in truth, Sam had just given up on everything. He became dismally depressed and felt horribly alone. He could definitely see himself feeling the same way if Dean had become Michael’s vessel. 

“I bet you were always trying to cheer me up, weren’t you Gabe? You always find the humor in everything.” Gabe glanced at Sam and then looked away. The intensity of his eyes told of unspoken volumes between them. Gabe played at the salad with his fork. 

“Yes…I did. At first I did. Things grew…harder near the end.” Gabe said softly and he brought the salad to his lips slower this time. Sam wanted to hear more. He wanted to know everything about the time that they spent together in this lost place he would never see. He wanted to know what those stories were in Gabriel’s eyes that he seemed too afraid to share. Sam wanted to ask him all these questions and more but…Gabriel didn’t need that right now. Sam thought a better idea would be to cheer him up. 

“How long has it been since you played a prank on someone?” Sam asked and Gabe chuckled dryly. His eyes met with Sam’s once more but this time a slight twinkle played at their edges. 

“Too long,” he said mournfully and then planted a forkful of salad into his mouth. 

“Well, I have been a bit frustrated with Dean and Castiel,” Sam admitted and Gabriel nodded in agreement. 

“They love each other,” he said matter-of-factly and then turned to look at Sam with large guilty eyes. “That was supposed to be a secret.” 

“Some secret,” Sam said rolling his own eyes and smiling down at Gabriel. “Did they ever get anywhere in your world?” Gabe shook his head. 

“Close. They were really close but,” he paused to swallow and then drew water from his glass, “Castiel died before either had a chance to tell each other the truth.” 

“That’s sad,” Sam said honestly. 

“Yes, it is,” Gabe agreed and he looked at Sam oddly. It was another one of those moments that it seemed like Gabe wanted to say far more than he would. It made Sam’s stomach burn hotter. 

“Why don’t we do something about it then?” Sam asked in a breathy voice although he wasn’t quite sure who he was talking about anymore. Gabe watched him for a moment longer, slowly chewing at a fresh forkful of salad, and then his face broke into a large foolish grin. 

“I have just the thing.” 

Chapter Four 

Dean could not wait to dig into the pie he purchased. Sure, it was a bit of a splurge, but when he stopped at a roadside stand and saw that they had fresh strawberry and rhubarb pie…mmm. Home cooked pie has always been his favorite. He gathered his pie, and Castiel grabbed as many grocery bags as he could before they turned to make their way to the bunker entrance. 

“Trips, Cas. You could take a few,” Dean joked with a smile. Pie always put him in a good mood. 

“Not if I don’t have to,” Castiel responded with a determined set to his jaw. Dean let him be. Who’d have thought Cas would be the grocery bag commando? Balancing the pie in one hand, Dean jerked at the handle to the bunker door and almost fell when his fingers slipped out of the grip. 

“What the hell?” Dean muttered as he lifted his hand to examine the sticky clear substance on his fingers. Cas’s face swam into view as the angel got closer to examine Dean’s fingers as well. He leaned in, sniffing at the substance, and before Dean knew what was happening, Cas opened his mouth and slipped a finger inside. “Cas! What the fuck?” Dean jerked his hand away and his finger exited Cas’s mouth with a loud pop. 

“Honey,” Cas hummed and he closed his eyes to savor the flavor. “It is very good. Can I have more, Dean?” Dean could feel the color burning at his cheeks but he tried to make it look like irritation. 

“Just open the door, Cas,” he snapped. 

“I can’t, Dean, I am carrying all these bags,” Castiel mused and lifted the groceries a few inches to illustrate how full his hands truly were. 

“And you can’t put them down?” Dean asked, his irritation growing. 

“That would defeat the purpose of carrying them inside, would it not? And besides, you have a perfectly free hand that is already covered in honey.” Castiel’s eyes pointedly looked at Dean’s sticky hand and then back at his face once more. Sometimes Dean really hated the angel. 

“Fine,” he said miserably, “I just…hate being sticky is all.” He reached out again and groaned as his fingers dipped into a well of honey. “Who the hell put honey on the door?” he snapped as he jerked the door open. He pulled his hand free and before he was able to react, Castiel leaned over and pulled Dean’s fingers into his mouth. 

“Cas, stop it!” Dean growled and pulled his hand away again. Cas rolled the honey over his tongue and closed his eyes in a soft groan that did some funny shit to Dean’s insides. 

“Oh that tastes good. I really like honey, Dean.” 

“Well let’s get inside and maybe we can find some more. I need to wash this stickiness off my hand.” 

“I can assist you with that,” Cas said with his eyes lighting up. He took a step forward and Dean took a step back. He felt like his face was on fire. 

“No. Just…don’t. Come on.” He walked through the door and through the foyer to where the staircase spiraled down into the bunker. He made his way cautiously down the stairs, his sticky hand curled into claws at his one side and pie precariously balanced on the other. Castiel shuffled behind him, with the crinkle of plastic brushed against plastic chorusing his footfalls. He felt far too close for friend zone comfort. 

“Sam!” Dean called out, hoping to have a little back up in case this somehow went south, but his brother didn’t respond. Dean fled into the kitchen, Castiel close at his heels, and placed the pie gingerly on the counter. Castiel took the opportunity to unburden himself of all the grocery bags he had on the table, and suddenly he was on Dean again, closing his hands around Dean’s wrist in a grip of death. “Cas, seriously, this has to stop now,” Dean said, an edge of warning in his voice. Castiel pulled Dean’s fingers towards his lips and his blue eyes looked up to meet the hunters. 

“Just one more taste, Dean,” he pleaded and his voice…his face…Dean’s lips parted but words just wouldn’t come out. Castiel, taking his silence as assent, dipped his head and sucked hard against Dean’s fingers. He moaned at the flavor and Dean closed his eyes. Fuck but this was… 

“Okay okay, Cas stop,” Dean said and could just kick himself for how breathy and turned on he sounded. Fucking Cas. Fucking honey. Dean leaned over the sink and threw open the faucet. Water burst out of the spigot and sprayed both of them in the process. “Son of a bitch!” Dean cursed and reached for the handle, but the water seemed to have pressure behind it and he couldn’t see what he was doing. He closed his eyes, fumbled at the faucet, and finally found a handle to turn the damn thing off. Someone was seriously fucking with him and Dean really didn’t like it. 

“Dean,” Cas rumbled and Dean turned to see that the angel was drenched. His jacket and trench coat were dripping and his dress shirt clung transparent to his broad chest. Dean swallowed against something rising in his throat that may or may not have been a groan. “Dean you are wet,” Castiel observed. 

“Yeah well you aren’t actually the driest in the room either, Cas,” Dean muttered. Castiel looked down at his clothing and started to pull off his jacket and coat. “Wait…what are you doing?” 

“Taking off my clothes. Do you have something dry I could wear temporarily?” Cas asked. 

“Can’t you just…you know, poof the water away?” Dean asked and he would never admit to anyone that his voice sounded like a whine. Cas leveled him with sharp stare-into-the-soul eyes. 

“Dean, my grace is limited. I am not going to waste it on a little water when I can just let the clothing dry.” Cas jerked off his tie and pulled at the buttons of his shirt. 

“Okay okay, I get that but we aren’t going to do this right here,” Dean said, feeling desperate. 

“Would you prefer I undress in your bedroom then?” Castiel asked and Dean almost hissed at the offer. He tried very hard to ignore how uncomfortable his wet jeans were getting in the crotch. 

“Cas just…let me get you something to wear. Stop taking your clothes off for a minute.” Cas’s eyes danced down Dean’s body and for an instant, Dean was certain Cas identified the tell-tale bulge in his pants. 

“You are just as wet as I am,” Castiel said dismissively, “you should get dry clothes on too.” He abandoned his shirt and reached out to pull at Dean’s t-shirt. 

“Cas! What are you doing? Stop!” Dean stumbled backwards against the counter and Cas almost fell on top of him. Dean stared at the angel, terrified and excited all at the same time, and Castiel stared back at him, a mere inches away. Cas opened his lips, about to speak, and then suddenly Dean heard it. The distant echo of laughter and footsteps running back the hall. Rage caused the flush in Dean’s cheeks to spread into his chest. 

“SAAAAAAM!!” 

  


Tears. Actual tears were falling down Sam’s face he was laughing so hard. Oh that was just too damn funny watching the two of them fall all over each other. It was also painfully awkward. They had to retreat into Sam’s room before they lost it right in front of the love birds. 

“Gabe that was so funny. Oh god, I haven’t laughed like this in so long. How did you know they would react that way?” 

“I didn’t!” Gabriel responded, laughing just as hard. His cheeks were red from his laughter and Sam felt warmed to see how happy he looked. “They did all of that themselves. I just set the stage and they played the parts gloriously.” Sam shook his head and patted Gabe on the back. 

“Gabe, you were always such a trickster,” Sam said with a smile, and laughed again. He sensed Gabe grow quiet and he turned to look at the other man. Gabriel wasn’t smiling anymore. He looked at Sam in that odd way and the seriousness of his expression caused Sam’s smile to melt away as well. “Gabe, what-“ 

“Call me that again,” Gabriel said and the tone of his voice; the look in his eyes…Sam felt like he was falling. He felt like the world around him was fading into nothing and his body was tipping; tumbling into something unknown. Something scary and unseen and yet something exciting and new. 

“Gabe-“ 

“Please Sam,” his voice was ragged now, and Sam felt like he couldn’t breathe. He stared at Gabriel as his stomach burned like fire and the world around him tipped on its side. He couldn’t see anything outside of those eyes, those trembling lips; the compelling draw of Gabe’s beautiful face. 

“Trickster,” Sam whispered, and Gabriel leaned towards him. Sam couldn’t move. He felt like a pillar of salt who dared to look back upon sin and die satisfied by his curiosity. He watched as though he were displaced from this moment and mused at how simple it all seemed. Dean had Castiel, of course Sam would have Gabriel. 

Gabriel’s lips met with his and suddenly Sam snapped back into himself with a jolt. He pulled away, startled at what had just occurred, and Gabe looked up at him with a vulnerability that made Sam’s heart want to melt. 

“You’re not him,” Gabe whispered and then he nodded. Sam seemed to have lost his voice. He wanted to say that no, he was not the Sam that Gabriel once knew but he could be a new Sam. A different Sam that was better for Gabe. He wanted to say that he would find any way he could to make Gabe smile again and to help him to forget the ways that his past hurt him. But before he could say any of that, or anything at all, Gabriel was to his feet and out of the room in an instant. 

Sam stared at the place that Gabriel once stood and could almost still see him there like an after image. Burned into his mind as his kiss burned against Sam’s lips. Slowly, he drew his fingertips across his lips and then pulled them away to look at them. He was surprised to see they were not brushed with ash. 

  


Gabriel balled his shirt into his fist and pressed hard against his chest. Father, but his heart hurt. He thought about that day so long ago when he first arrived in this strange place where Castiel still lived and Dean was still Dean. Where Sam was still alive and smiling. He thought about how he clawed at his chest; raking at the skin in a futile effort to remove his heart from his vessel. Why was it that an organ that provided no capacity for thought could emit so much pain at the result of thinking? 

He didn’t know why he did what he did. The name perhaps? It made him reminiscent of fonder times between him and his lover. That might have been what tipped him over but now that the line was crossed, Gabriel would not be able to undo it. He kissed Sam. He actually _kissed_ Sam. And unfortunately, this Sam was not the same as the Sam he came to, broken and dismal, after the death of Castiel and the essential death of Dean. That Sam was vulnerable and more willing to accept that Gabriel could be there for him. This Sam…Gabriel had nothing to offer him but the clothes off of his back. Hell, he wasn’t even an angel anymore. 

A knock at the door caused Gabriel to jump and his heart fluttered in his chest. Was it Sam? If so, what did it mean? What would he say if it was Sam? ‘Hey, sorry about that whole kiss thing. I was reminiscing over my dead boyfriend who just happens to be you from another dimension’. Gabriel covered his eyes with his hands. This was a disaster. 

“The door is unlocked,” he announced and listened as the knob was turned. 

“Gabriel,” Castiel said and Gabriel sighed. He didn’t know if it was in relief or disappointment. 

“Heya, Castiel, came sit next to big brother,” he said with a fake grin and patted his bed. Castiel hesitated for a moment but then shut the door behind him and came to join Gabriel on his mattress. 

“Gabriel…what kind of honey was that?” Castiel asked and Gabriel smiled. 

“Lotus flower. It only can be collected in the earliest months of spring. You stumbled upon it in my world and gave it as a gift to Dean. You said it was the best thing you have ever tasted. Fortunately Sam keeps some in his pantry here. He said that he likes it on his Asian pears.” Castiel nodded at all of this but then was quiet for a while. Gabriel didn’t say anything either, admitting to himself that he appreciated having Castiel’s company. It wasn’t Sam, but it was the next best thing. 

“Thank you,” Castiel suddenly said, his voice soft and vulnerable. Gabriel glanced down at his brother and smiled. Pranks don’t always end badly for those involved. 

“He’s in love with you too, you know,” he said and his grin widened when Castiel’s face blushed red. He was happy to see that the two of them might actually become something more than could-have-beens and regrets. Gabriel sighed and glanced at the empty bowl and glass that still occupied his room. “I kissed Sam,” he confessed sadly and Castiel’s head jerked towards him in surprise. 

“You…why?” he said and Gabriel could sense the angel was a little awestruck. As he should be. Castiel was far too shy to ever make the first move in anything. 

“He called me Trickster. It was a name that Sam gave me. _My_ Sam. He used it as sort of a pet name. Hearing it again in that voice and from that face…I don’t know. I lost it, I guess.” Gabriel looked at his hands and frowned. It was more than that and he knew it. It wasn’t nostalgia that drove him to kiss Sam, it was the way Sam laughed. It was his brilliant and breathtaking smile. These things were things he never really saw in the world he came from. 

“So…what are you going to do now?” Castiel asked and Gabriel turned to meet his brother’s gaze. 

“I’m going to find my grace, and I am going to go back home,” Gabriel said and Castiel’s face fell into puzzlement. 

“But why would you want to go back there? Sam is dead there.” 

“Yes,” Gabriel responded curtly. It still stung to hear those words. “But you know that death is never the end. Not when angels are involved. Heaven or hell, no place is safe for him. He will be tortured by either and I can’t allow that Castiel. Sam and I were far more than friends, understand? We loved each other openly. I owe it to him to not abandon him now just because a living replica happened to come into my world.” 

“So the Sam of this world is nothing more than a replica to you?” Castiel asked harshly and Gabriel winced. 

“I just…need to get back to where I belong,” he whispered. 

“And what of the Sam here? You kissed him, Gabriel. What does that mean for him?” 

“I don’t know…I…he didn’t say,” Gabriel replied and suddenly felt out of sorts. His head was a jumble of confliction and confusion. He couldn’t stop thinking about the sound of Sam’s laughter and yet…that wasn’t really his Sam, was it? 

“What if he wants you to stay, Gabriel? Would you stay for him?” Castiel leaned towards him, compelling him to think these questions through, but Gabriel would have none of it. He got to his feet and turned towards the door. “Where are you going?” Castiel asked. 

“I am going outside. I really haven’t been out since I got here, and I need to get some air. Maybe I will sense my grace if it is nearby.” 

“Let me go with you,” Castiel responded and he got to his feet. Gabriel noticed that Castiel was wearing jeans and t-shirt very similar to what Gabriel was wearing. He figured these clothes to be replacements for the ones he got wet. 

“Does everyone dress like this here?” Gabriel asked, gesturing towards his similar shirt and demin. Castiel looked down and pulled at the hem of his shirt. 

“Just Dean, mostly,” he admitted, “I like the way he dresses.” Gabriel groaned at this and left the room. They ventured down the hall and Castiel guided Gabriel to where the stairs led to the bunker’s exit. 

When Gabriel stepped outside, he gasped. The world around him was alive. It was literally breathing with life. Everywhere he looked there was vegetation and animals and insects and _life_. It had been so long since these things existed to him. Too long. 

“Castiel,” he said, breathless and awestruck, “is this heaven?” 

“Gabriel, this is just the forest outside the bunker. There is nothing special here,” Castiel said behind him and Gabriel shook his head. 

“You’re wrong. You’re so wrong, Castiel.” He took a few steps forward, crossing the dirt road that led away from this secluded place, and then fell on his hands and knees in the grass beyond. His fingers dug into the cool soil and Gabriel leaned over to inhale the clear crisp smell of the earth. 

“Have you really not been outside since you got here,” Castiel asked and Gabriel shook his head. He didn’t think about it much but in hindsight, he suspected he avoided going outside because he didn’t want to discover the blue sky he saw before was simply a fabrication of his mind. He didn’t want to go outside and see the red horizon again. Gabriel looked up at the sky, almost dark in the hours of dusk, and smiled. 

“This _is_ heaven, Castiel. Nothing can compare to this.” 

“So you like it here, then?” Sam called to him and Gabriel sat up to look over his shoulder towards the tall man lingering near Castiel. He did not like the way his heartbeat picked up at seeing him, or the tightening in his chest. 

“Yes, I do,” he said honestly, then turned away and let his eyes trail over the landscape. “But it isn’t home.” 

“Home is where you make it,” Sam said and he took a step towards him. Gabriel glanced behind Sam in time to see the back of Castiel’s head as he turned and retreated back into the bunker. He seemed to think they should have some privacy. Gabriel had his doubts. 

“Why are you here?” Gabriel asked and he pushed off of the ground to get to his feet. He brushed his hands on this jeans as he turned and looked up into Sam’s eyes. 

“Gabe…what was I to you in that other life?” Sam asked and Gabriel quickly turned away. He bit his lip, unsure how to answer. Honesty seemed to work best for him thus far but how would Sam react if he knew? 

“I…” Gabriel swallowed hard and forced himself to look up into Sam’s eyes once more. “I am in love with you,” he said simply. “I was in love with you there and…apparently I am in love with you here as well.” He found himself smiling at this revelation and offered Sam a simple shrug. 

“And did the other, darker, sadder me…did he love you as well?” Sam asked and Gabriel’s face fell once more. 

“In his own way, yes,” he said softly and turned to look up at the sky. “I used to imagine him and I in a different life. A life much like this where the sky was blue and where he was happy. Perhaps it was only my imagination that drew me to him. I wanted to believe I could make him happy again.” Sam took a step closer to Gabriel and held out a book that he didn’t realize Sam was carrying. 

“Do you recognize this book?” he asked and Gabriel looked down to see the book in Sam’s hands.  Astral Projections and Alternate Realities. 

“That was the book you had the other week? The one that you showed all of us with the diagram of the worm hole?” 

“Yes, that’s right,” Sam said with a smile and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel pride like he used to under Sam’s praise. In another time; in another place. “I have read this book cover to cover. Twice. Aside from all these descriptions about alternate dimensions and variable planes of existence, it talks about the theory where souls are universal between worlds. It describes how two people, who connect in a metaphysical sense in one dimension, will probably produce the same connection in another dimension. In essence, if you loved me in one dimension, you are destined to love me in all dimensions. And if I loved you in one dimension…” 

“Sam,” Gabriel whispered, and his head swirled again. Confusion; confliction…what was happening to him? Who was he supposed to be? Where did he belong? “I need…I need to get back to…” his brain was mush. He couldn’t form a sentence staring into those profound hazel eyes. Sam smiled sadly and lifted his hand to trail fingers down Gabriel’s cheek. 

“Gabe,” he whispered just as softly, “will you ever let that other world go?” And suddenly, it all made sense to Gabriel. Everything fit together in a jigsaw puzzle that spanned across time and space. It was so simple. So utterly obvious that he was amazed it had not occurred to him before. 

“I have to go,” Gabriel said stepping away from Sam and heading towards the bunker door. 

“Go where?” Sam called after him, his brow drawn down in concern. 

“Utah,” Gabriel said and threw his best mischievous smile over his shoulder back at Sam. “I think I know where my grace is.” 

Chapter Five 

“Explain to me again why we are driving to fucking Utah,” Dean grumbled as he glanced over at Sam. They had been on the road for a good four hours already and between this weird tension between Gabriel and Sam, and the odd way Cas kept staring at him, Dean had about his fill of this particular road trip. 

“My grace is there,” Gabriel said simply. 

“And it would be prudent if I didn’t use my own limited grace on such an expedition,” Castiel added. 

“And I won’t let Gabe out of my sight until he gives up on this foolish idea of going back to post Armageddon where everyone he knows is dead, and instead stays here with us,” Sam concluded and Dean rolled his eyes. Since when did Sam give a shit about ‘Gabe’? 

He glanced in the rearview mirror and was surprised to see both the angel brothers smiling in the back seat. Well they seemed pleased to hear what Sam was saying. Castiel caught Dean’s eye and his smile grew broader. Dean looked away. 

It was so rare to see Cas smile like that but when he did…well, this was not the time for confessions. Dean had a feeling that he couldn’t hide his feelings forever. Some time, hopefully soon, he’ll sit Cas down and have a real heart to heart. Maybe Cas will reject him; it was certainly possible, but after the way that the angel looked at him; pulling at his clothes; the both of them wet and sticky…Dean shook his head. It didn’t occur to him until that very moment just how deeply he felt towards Cas. He replayed that whole encounter in his head about a dozen times over the past two days, and while he wouldn’t mind running through it again, he wasn’t going to pop a stiffy sitting next to his brother. 

“Fine,” he said at last. “But when this grace hunt is over, I am going to stop at Esther’s on the way back. They have the best double bacon white cheddar angus burgers on the western side of the states. I’m craving a heart attack.” Castiel’s smile vanished, and he stared at Dean; mortified at the notion, but Gabriel simply laughed. 

They drove on through the day and deep into the night. As the hours crept on, both Sam and Gabriel drifted into sleep. Castiel didn’t need to sleep as he has pointed out so many times before and Dean; well he has had his share of all night drives, he could go days without sleeping now. 

“Cas,” Dean said in hushed tones and Castiel turned from gazing out the window to peer in the mirror at Dean. City lights danced around them; illuminating Cas’s face in revolving hues of blues and greens. “What is going on with those two?” Cas glanced at Gabriel and then his eyes found Deans again. 

“They are in love,” he said softly. 

“Since when?” Dean exclaimed, his voice rising above a whisper, and he glanced quickly at Sam to make sure he hadn’t disturbed his brother. 

“Since always, I think,” Cas said with a small smile. “Gabriel was lovers with Sam in his world. It would make sense that those feelings should carry over to here.” 

“And Sam?” Dean asked, peering at the shadows where Castiel’s face should be as they exited the city and both fell into the deep darkness of the Utah countryside. 

“Sam must have realized the same thing his counterpart had. That they were destined to be together.” Dean snorted at this and his eyes shifted back at the road ahead. 

“You think that is funny?” Castiel asked after a moment and Dean shook his head. 

“I think destiny is funny. A huge fucking joke,” Dean sneered, and grinned bitterly at the road. How much of their lives were paved with the intentions of destiny? How many times would they fall prey to its demands? Dean hated being the pawn in some grander scheme and would like to think he could at least have a choice in who he wanted to love without destiny having a say in it. 

“Is there no one that you feel destined to be with, Dean?” Castiel asked frankly, and a chill ran down Dean’s spine. Cas’s voice was calculated. Careful. But the slight tremble at speaking Dean’s name said volumes as to what Cas was thinking. 

“Cas…” Cas, what? He kept saying he would talk about this. That one day they would have the time to sit down and figure all of it out, but did that mean today? Did that mean now? Dean tightened the grip on his steering wheel. 

“I understand Dean,” Castiel said softly, an air of finality to his voice. 

“No! Just…give me a second,” Dean snapped and he continued to stare at the road. Castiel remained silent but Dean could almost feel the angel’s eyes on the back of his head. Suddenly a flash of light burst through the tree line ahead, and Dean was blinded. He jerked the wheel as he skidded the impala to a halt and Gabriel fell forward; smacking his face on Dean’s seat. 

“Ow!” Gabriel whined and Sam jerked awake. 

“What happened?” he asked and turned to look at Gabriel and then at Dean. His face the picture of sleepy brain-fuzz. 

“There’s something up ahead,” Dean said pointing and the men all turned to peer through the trees at the source of light. 

“Is that it, Gabe?” Sam asked. 

“Yes!” Gabriel said and he sat forward to bring his head between them. “It looks different here. More trees and less…destruction. But I recognize that mountain. This is the place.” He pulled away then, and his hand snaked around Dean to reach for the door. 

“Alright, alright,” Dean snapped and jerked the handle so the car door swung open. He was barely out the vehicle before Gabriel was snaking around him and dashing off into the night. 

“Gabe, wait up!” Sam called and chased after him. Dean turned and watched Cas rise out of the car, gently shutting the door behind him. He was always so careful with Baby. Just like Dean was. 

“Cas…” Dean said and again the words died on his tongue. Cas looked up at him, studying him for a moment, and then he moved to circle around the car. 

“Gabriel told me that he kissed Sam,” Castiel said and Dean blinked in surprise at the sudden direction of the conversation. 

“Did he? Wow, Sam didn’t mention that to me,” Dean said for lack of a better response. 

“He kissed Sam because Sam called him Trickster. It was a pet name, he said.” Castiel rounded the car to where Dean stood and closed the space between them. 

“I could definitely see Sam using that as a pet name,” Dean said with a shrug. 

“Call me Trickster,” Castiel said softly, his head tilted up; his eyes boring into Dean’s soul. 

“Wha- What?” Dean choked. He thought to take a step back but then stopped. What was he afraid of? What was he running from? 

“Call me Trickster so that I can kiss you,” Castiel said, his voice a low rumble. Dean licked his lips nervously and glanced past Cas to see that his brother and Gabriel were far out of sight. No sense fumbling into the dark looking for them now. Better to just wait here and bide the time until they made their way back. Looking back at the angel; at _his_ angel, Dean felt himself falling into the infinite crystal pools of Cas’s eternal eyes. 

“Trickster,” he whispered softly, and then Dean closed his eyes. 

  


Sam couldn’t keep up. Gabriel was so fast, and the woods were unfamiliar. 

“Gabe!” he called out and caught the shadow of the shorter man back-lit against the glow of his grace. Sam reached out, fumbling in the foliage, and tripped. He fell hard, scuffing his palms against the earth, and winced at the stab of pain in his ankle. Suddenly Gabriel was there, right beside him, pulling him up off the ground. 

“Please don’t run off,” Sam managed between pants. He hadn’t realized he was breathless from the exertion until that moment. 

“Stay here and wait for me Sam,” Gabriel said. Sam could only see the shadow of where Gabe stood but he could feel the ex-angel pulling away from him. Edging toward the light beyond. 

“No! You’ll leave! Gabriel please, I don’t want you to go!” Sam could hear the tremor in his own voice and knew that tears were not far behind. When did all this happen? When did he realize he couldn’t live without having Gabriel by his side? He reached out; his hands groping in the cacophony of light and darkness hoping to gain purchase on any part of the other man. He wanted to pull Gabe near. He wanted to kiss him as he should have done those few days before, and tell Gabriel how much he needed him. How much he loved him. Instead, Gabe took another step away. Another step towards the grace that sung to him from behind. 

“I won’t go without saying goodbye,” was the last thing he said and then he turned once more; breaking into a run. Sam collapsed back to the earth. Even if he tried to fumble through the darkness, his ankle wouldn’t tolerate him running at the same speed as Gabriel was. He watched Gabe running towards the light until the blaze of white swallowed his silhouette whole. He clutched at his heart and drew his shirt into his fist. Times like this, he wished he could just rip the damn thing out of his chest. He hated to feel it hurt. 

  


Gabriel stepped into the embrace of his grace and gasped at the warmth surrounding him. He should have known it would be here. This was the place in his world, where he last stood. The place where Sam died. It seemed as though, when he came to this dimension, his body and mind separated from his angelic grace. Part of him was drawn to the Sam that still lived and breathed while the other part of him was drawn to where Sam lived and died. 

Gabriel pressed on, looking for the center of the illumination; for its source, and suddenly the light became so bright, he had to shield his eyes against it. 

_I never seen you this way, Gabe. Your grace. You’re beautiful._

The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once and Gabriel gasped at the assault to his senses. 

“S-Sam?” he managed to say but his voice was lost to the world of light around him. 

_Did you really think you could cross space and time without me?_

Gabriel stumbled and fell to his knees. Sam. His Sam was here. He must have latched his soul onto Gabriel’s grace. Somehow, he found a way to follow Gabriel; to the end of time and beyond, just as Gabriel had promised that he would. 

“What do I do? How can I see you?” Gabriel asked desperately. The light was so bright he dare not open his eyes. Even protected by his angelic presence, his vessel might not be able to withstand it. 

_You can’t see me, Gabe. I am dead._

Sam’s voice stabbed at Gabriel’s heart but he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to comprehend it. He reached out, his hands searching through the light. 

“I want to see you, Sam! Please!” Warm hands closed around his and Gabriel gasped. 

_Don’t open your eyes._

Gabriel heeded Sam’s warning but his hands clutched at the other man’s fingers. Tears leaked through his closed eyes and Gabriel’s face fell into sobs. 

_Don’t cry._

The voice was soft and tender. A caress in the abysmal darkness that Gabriel brought to so much pure light. 

“I miss you so much,” Gabriel cried and his hands tightened in Sam’s. The hunter pulled him closer, his hands falling away only to be replaced by arms, and Gabriel felt himself being pulled into a phantom embrace. 

_I am here too, Gabe. In this world. I am only a few feet away, waiting for you to return. Waiting to see if you will say goodbye._

Gabriel tilted his head up, wanting desperately to explore the expression of his lover’s face. He reached out with trepid fingers to brush them against Sam’s lips. His jaw. His brow. 

_I held on to your grace for you. Kept it safe. But now I have to go, Gabriel. You have to let me go._

“I know,” Gabriel said sadly, and he could feel Sam lean into his hand. “I want to stay here, Sam.” 

_And you can. Go and be with him. Don’t worry about me. I have found the path to heaven._

Gabriel could feel Sam’s presence withdrawing, and reluctantly, he let go of the man he loved. Years they spent together fighting and surviving but there was no place for that here. The Sam he knew was hard and haunted but the Sam of this world gave Gabriel hope. 

His grace swirled, suddenly unhindered by the spirit that kept it captive for so long. Gabriel reached for it, embraced it, and pulled it into him. He tilted back his head and drank in the light all around him. His stomach burned, but his heart swelled with joy. No longer did confusion cloud his mind. He knew he was home. This was home. Finally, finally, he found that open blue sky he longed for. And only a few feet away, the man he loved waited to see if he would say goodbye. 

  


Sam lifted his head at the sound of Gabriel’s footsteps. Dawn was on the horizon and he could make out the man clearly as he walked towards him. Gabriel’s eyes burned with the glow of his grace and Sam’s breath caught in his throat. Gabe looked brilliant; radiant; holy. 

“Sam,” he said in a greeting and his smile was so genuine, Sam felt tears sting at his eyes. He didn’t know what was going to happen. He was afraid to ask; afraid for this moment to end. Because any end would not be a good one. Gabriel walked over to Sam’s side, and then sat down in the grass beside him. Together, they lifted their heads to watch the start of another day brush blue across the sky. 

“The world is so beautiful here,” Gabriel mused and he tilted his head back to grin sideways at Sam. “I meant what I said to Castiel. This is definitely heaven.” 

“Does that mean you’ll stay?” Sam asked at last. He held his breath as the sun crept over the horizon and doused them both in light. Gabriel closed his eyes, and tilted back his head; savoring the warm embrace. 

“I have been a fool, Sam. I thought I was bound by obligation to return to where I was and find the Sam I knew. But everything became clear to me today. He is you, and you are him. There was nothing for me to ever return home to.” Gabe opened his eyes and turned to look at Sam once more. “I never want to leave.” 

Sam pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling. Relief flooded through him and threatened to spill out of his eyes. 

“That’s good,” was all he could think to say, and he leaned forward to hide his watery eyes; reaching out to run blades of grass through his fingers. Gabriel leaned forward with him and cautious fingers stretched out to catch his chin. Sam let his head be guided as Gabe turned him and their eyes met in the clear bright sun of a new summer day. 

“I love you Sam,” Gabriel said through his smile, “I am yours.” Sam leaned closer, offering himself as a sacrifice to the angel before him, and Gabriel did not hesitate to catch Sam’s lips with his own. Gabe’s kiss was gentle like a caress, and Sam could feel his body leaning into the other man. It never crossed his mind to hesitate in knowing that Gabriel was in a male vessel or that Gabriel was an angel and so many biblical laws deemed this forbidden. All that Sam could think was that this was what was right. This was what belonged. This was where all the puzzle pieces fit together to form the perfect solution to the biggest mysteries of Sam’s life. 

Feeling the unity between them, Sam reached out to lace fingers into Gabriel’s hair and pull him closer. The kiss became more intense; laced with lust and longing. Sam’s body responded in ways he didn’t think was possible with any being let alone someone who just re-entered his life a few weeks ago. 

“Gabe...Gabriel,” Sam breathed as he pulled away from the other man. He grabbed the t-shirt clinging to the angel in all the right places and pulled it over his head. “I love you too.” Gabriel pushed Sam down to the grass and climbed on top of him. Leaning in, he gave the hunter a long lustful kiss that made Sam’s toes curl. 

“Please, Sam,” he said in a throaty voice as he reached to loosen Sam’s belt, “call me Trickster.” 


End file.
